AUGUST
13, 1977 - APRIL 25, 2003
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If you are here because you saw one of these stickers:
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READ ON...
Josh was never supposed to be here.
When he was born, the doctors told my mother he would die within 24 hours. Those of us who knew him are not surprised that he paid them no attention and did exactly as he wished.
Josh was a fighting spirit, an old soul who demanded the chance to see for himself whether he wanted to stay or not. In his 25 years, he overcame a genetic disorder, the ridicule and cruelty of ignorant people, the normal hardships of a person who is different. He was the smartest person I've ever met, and the most persistent. He found things he loved - skateboarding and computers - and pursued them with an unshakeable commitment that transcended anger, frustration, disadvantage, pain.
He fell gracefully. He made profanity into an art.
His sense of humor is irreplaceable.
Over and over again, people have said "Josh was the only one who really understood me." He saw people, saw who they were, and either had time for them or didn't. If you were "in" he was, again, practically unshakeable. If you were out, you knew it.
He had no regard for appearances. He adopted those who most needed kindness. He had no patience for pretense.
When he was hit by a car while skateboarding, I was shocked, hurt, sad, but not necessarily surprised. He died on his own terms, doing what he loved. I always knew that he was not for this world. He was visiting, checking things out, and when the time came he would shrug his shoulders and go.
I will miss my brother for the rest of my life. I will always respect his decision to leave.
I hope these pages give you some sense of who he was. I was lucky enough to have the chance to be part of his life. I want him never to be forgotten.
You should know his full name was Joshua Charles Updike, but like most people he was only called that when he was in trouble. And he'd think this web site was a piece of crap but would never tell me so. He'd be deeply embarassed by the attention. And maybe just a little bit flattered. But only a little bit.
If you have anything to add to the site, please send it to marcy@marcyray.net